3 Stages of the Female Psyche

December 2, 2015 Posted by Linda Vettrus-Nichols - No Comments


Vital Restoration

As women, our energy drops when we aren’t doing what we love. Burnout comes when we are doing for others and not ourselves. And then, sometimes out of nowhere, we get a wake-up call. We awaken from our deep slumber able to feel our pain, see our struggle, own our power, and create radical change. We reclaim our soul and once again tap into our creative fire. We tap back into our wild nature knowing instinctively when things must die and when things must live, when to stay and when to leave. This is a force that lies beneath us. It raises us up to do our psychic work. Coming from a visceral place in our being it can appear out of nowhere or be felt as a gradual atmospheric pressure before the storm. It helps us to live with innate integrity and healthy boundaries. It helps us to remember who we are and what we are all about. This is a force that cannot be reckoned with. She brings with her great light and consciousness, ears for the soul and eyes for the heart, an actual knowing of the soul. She regulates our heart and guards our health. She allows us to remember why we are here. She resides in the gut, not in the head. She is utterly essential to women’s mental and soul health. She is the female soul. She is the source of the feminine. She is intuition, the far-seer, the deep listener, that all knowing sense within. She is the voice that says,”Where are you?” “Wake up, wake up!” “Come, go this way.” “Keep going, keep going.” “Never give up.”

When we awaken is when we begin to truly live. As we investigate our deepest darkest places we increase our soul power. When we remember to feed our soul, we are then successful in our own eyes as well as in the eyes of others.


“Many things will catch your eye, but follow only those that capture your heart.”

-Priya Sher

Dance has always captured my heart. My first exposure to dance was when I was 4 years old. I started gymnastics when I was 7 and formal dance lessons when I was 8. I have always been an emotionally strong person so it’s interesting to me that dance is about strength. Dance is also about building on one’s strength and improving those strengths. I get that because I have always been a bit of a transcendentalist. I enjoy the synergy of moving myself forward to greater heights and my favorite movie is Little Woman starring Susan Sarandon and Winona Ryder. Susan plays the mother of 4 girls, one of which is played by Winona. The movie is based on the life story of the author Louisa May Alcott. Susan Sarandon plays a loving mother who wants a better life for her girls that is based on who they truly are and not based on their outer beauty. She knows each of her girls as individuals and works with their souls without breaking their spirit.

I am the first born child and grandchild. I am the only grand-daughter on my mother’s side of the family. I got to be in charge. I used to say no to my slightly younger male cousin so much, when I learned to talk, that the extended family named him No-No Boy.

I looked alot like my mother when I was in 6th grade. At that time we were about the same height. The older she got the younger she looked. So when I was in 6th grade we actually looked like sisters.

I remember one day when we were picking out a tie to give my dad for his birthday, I held up the tie and said, “I think dad would really like this one.” My mother agreed and the salesman said, “You girls might also want to look at these 2 ties over here for your father.” We looked at each other then laughed out loud. The salesman was shocked when I said, “She’s my mother.”

My father and I were very close and I was crushed when he left this world during the summer between my Jr. and Sr. year in high school. I was very close to my mother’s father. I was blessed to have 2 males in my life who thought I was wonderful. I still had 1 man when I lost my father.

I was going to become a professional dancer when I had a gymnastics accident, a few months after losing my father, and crushed my heel. I was told I would never dance again and that I would be lucky if I was able to even walk. Well I proved the doctors wrong and I did walk again. I was even able to dance although getting into shoes was quite a struggle. I was grateful that clogs were in style at that time. I eventually got into my dance shoes as well. I did tap, ballet, jazz, Flamenco, Hawaiian, Tahitian, and a little bit of Belly Dancing.

I met a guy in Jr. College and was about to decide if I should go out to Madora, ND to see if I could make it through 8 hour rehearsals and shows. When I mentioned I was considering leaving for the summer, he said, “You can go, but I might not be here when you get back.” I knew Iwas going to marry him so I chose not to go. That was not a good foundation for a 33 year marriage, to say the least. We had two children with challenging behaviors and as a special education teacher I was extremely frustrated figuring out how to help them. When they were 7 and 10 I had a neighbor suggest I take a look at food sensitivities and visual integration therapy. I did and that helped to smooth things out a bit. I went on to help other parents and wrote the book Challenging Children A Puzzle To Be SOLVED. These were the stories of the families I helped.

When it comes to having a business it is important to know whose stage you are dancing on. Noticing is the ultimate business skill that is rarely taught. Through the work I have done with my clients I have come to see there are three stages one can choose to dance upon. I have danced on all three because they are the stages of the female psyche.

It is important to understand what you will notice on all three stages.

Stage 1

The dance on Stage 1 is a melodrama. You play in your business as if it were a hobby. You have no credit cards in which to give yourself business loans. You may have a credit card but you choose not to use it. You are not coachable. You treat everyone nicely and do more for others than yourself. You are easily lured by the Predator and you do not listen to the warnings of others. When something happens that doesn’t work, you blame yourself and hide your mistakes. You tend to do what pleases others rather than tapping in and knowing yourself.

Stage 2

The dance on Stage 2 is more like a variety show or a musical. On this stage you do what you feel like doing, when you feel like doing it. There is no self-discipline on this stage. You seek education, but do not apply it to your business. You are highly affected by what others think. You focus on negative feelings and feel stuck in your life as well as your business. You may cover for others to the point of lying. You are re-inventing yourself letting die what must die. You want to be loved for who you are but you are not completely sure “who” you are. You begin mindset training and are semi-coachable. You treat yourself to fun and are easily lured by the pleasures of the Ego or to heal your Pain Body experiences. You are flighty and are easily triggered into panic mode. You use credit cards to invest in educating yourself for your business, but they do not get paid off because you do not apply what you learned.

Stage 3

The dance on Stage 3 is a Ballet with flowing intentional movement. This psychic dance is about taking responsibility for one’s self: exercising, eating well, and getting enough sleep. You believe that plans, rather than dreams, come true.  You understand how to turn a plan into a reality that most people only dream of. You make immediate intuitive decisions without second guessing yourself. You are able to neutralize your abuser and move on with your life in full confidence. Your focus is on being successful rather than becoming successful, while honoring how you think and express yourself. You know who you are, what you need, and you hire the support you deserve. You know what feeds your soul at a deep level. Rather than blaming others, you look for the kernel of truth and make the proper adjustments. You live in a present state of awareness as you move your business forward. You understand how to fail forward, knowing that 80% of what you do will not work. You understand that perfection is poison to your business and yourself. You do not lie. You are authentic with yourself and others. You know how to keep it real and are open to sharing your soul with another.

Has the Wild Butterfly Woman Ever Danced Through YOUR Soul?

She will lead you to Stage 3 where you will find yourself doing the dance of the professional.

“The Wild Butterfly Woman helps us to connect with our instinctual nature. She spills spiritual pollen on all who come in contact with her. She teaches transformation and the evolution from one being to another (i.e. caterpillar to butterfly). She is from the spirit world and she lives in the psyche and therefore she is formless. Were she to have a form, she would be a dancer with wings, impregnated with the original peace sign–the anti-spiral. This ancient symbol represents the coming back together of the people of Mother Earth.

This Wild Butterfly Woman feeds our soul at its deepest level and helps us to create our soul dance. Anytime our soul is fed we increase our level of consciousness. That is, we awaken a little bit more to our surroundings and who we “intended to be” when we entered this 3-D world.

A woman’s soul dance must be done in 3-D. When our soul travels away from our physical body, we do not grow and cannot learn life’s lessons. It is here in the physical realm where lessons are learned. Our deepest knowing comes from our soul; being fully present brings us to that level.