All This Pain

May 31, 2016 Posted by Linda Vettrus-Nichols - No Comments

All this pain, in such a short period of time, losing my father to suicide and then my gymnastics accident a few months later and being told I’d never dance again, was triggered when I hit menopause. I now understand that through the depths of the female psyche comes some of our greatest knowing. We can live fully present and aware of our psychic life, or we can choose to be a victim of it, blaming others for our actions and reactions. There is a gift in every challenge, and the beauty of menopause for me is how it became the portal for my own transformation.

Even though I got stuck many times along the way, I eventually discovered and embodied seven spiritual truths that can reduce the emotional pain that can come up during the menopausal years. Living fully present from your soul is about noticing what is coming up for you as your body and mind begin to shift. The following truths help me to dance in my own flow. They are the spiritual truths that I teach my clients to see what is really important to them and to be inspired by their own dance, getting them in touch with who they really are. I invite you to experience the gifts in all of them.

#1 Reclaim the REAL you. Your soul knows who you are and why you are here. You are not here to heal but to remember. We all come from the same source. We have forgotten who we are and why it is important to encourage one another. Together we complete each other and that which is to be remembered. This, in turn, creates clarity. You are the unstoppable you. By listening to your soul you will know when you are DONE with a marriage, a job, a lifestyle, or even an addiction.

#2 Stand in YOUR truth. There is great emotional freedom in living and standing in your truth. “I think” … “I can’t” … “I don’t know”—they’re all lies. Stand in your truth and start living out your own civic engagement. Make a difference. We’re not born to be alone. We are born to be seen and understood—and to love ourselves so we can love others in our community. At the end of the day, it’s not what you are but who you are. Be genuine, be real, be authentic, be in the moment. Feed your own soul first, and you will be successful in your own eyes as well as in the eyes of others.

#3 Open YOUR receiving channels. When we are stressed we tend to push out, interrupt, and start thinking of what we will say next. Taking a breath helps us to open and receive what the other person is saying. Self-care is another way to open our receiving channels. When we don’t feel well supported it’s typically because we are not taking care of ourselves. You can share the load by delegating to others.

#4 Pay attention to YOUR creative patterns. What do you do, that gets your creative juices flowing? What is your tempo? What costume are you wearing today? Is it the one that serves you, allows you to feel and be yourself as you tune into your own vibrations? Create, understand, and pattern your inner peace by starting with yourself.

#5 Know YOUR vision. Dreams that come true have plans, and plans are supported by goals. Setting a goal is about setting an intention. Taking consistent action and attaining small goals builds confidence. Lack of self-worth and self-confidence results in a “lack mentality.” If you are coming from a place of lack, you are actually lowering the vibration of the planet. You will never know your vision until you reach out and help others. They will point out your gifts and what you did to really help them. What energy moves you forward? What excites you to do and be more than you are today?

#6 Serve yourself FIRST. On an airplane we are taught to put on our own oxygen mask first so we can safely help others. When we put the needs of others first, we have less energy to help them. This way of life can also lead us into a “dis-ease” state. There is a price to pay living from such a place.

#7 Know your REAL love. It’s not about finding the love of your life; it’s about finding you and loving you. Only then can the love of your life appear. This will empower you to love your life no matter what. If you have a man who loves you unconditionally, you are doing the same for yourself. If you have a man who never puts you down and feels you are “just right” or the “perfect fit,” you are doing the same for yourself. Loving you, loving me.

You, too, can learn how to dance through these years. Dance is about learning the next step, opening up, exploring, and moving forward. Come dance with me.

Linda Vettrus-Nichols
As a woman filled with LaDestina, a sense of her own destiny, Linda teaches the dance of the Enlightened Woman, the 3 Stages of the Female Psyche, and the Archetype of the Wild Butterfly Woman. She is an internationally known author and speaker who inspires and teaches talented heart-centered healers and practitioners to face their truth and change what does not serve them. Linda is a Transformational Business Coach and Spiritual thought leader. She believes in connecting your human experience with your soul and being the shining star you came here to be with all of your flaws, with all of your faults, and with all of your brilliance. To find out more about Linda’s work contact her at: or email her at: [email protected]